I broke the toilet (don't read if you are not interested in hearing about my poo issues)

So I arrive in Taixing after a 4 hour drive from Shanghai and I meet everyone very briefly. With my bags still in the car, I am taken to my office (which kicks ass but I will tell you about it in another post) I sit down and try to settle in for a few minutes when one of my new co workers offers me a cup of coffee which I accept and enjoy, despite the fact that it was instant. After about 5 minutes of settling in I relaxed enough that I needed to deal with all of the Chinese food that I had been eating thus far on my trip and went to the bathroom which had no toilet paper. I asked one of the office workers where I could find some and he went on a 10 minute search for some toilet paper. When he gave it to me I went into the ladies bathroom and he freaked out. He said, "No no no you cannot go, it for lady!" I said, "It is for ladies and foreigners because it has the only western style toilet in the building." (Western style toilets are the sit down ones). He asked one of the female office workers if it was okay and she said okay. I assured her that I would be careful with the toilet. I went in and needed to rush to get my pants down as this was going to be my first movement since I arrived in China. I sat down and the entire place echoed with the crack of the toilet seat. I had to go to the bathroom so badly that I couldn't really do anything but settle in. I could feel the pieces of the toilet digging into my bum but I really couldn't do anything in fact, when I was done I needed to pick the small pieces of plastic out of my bum.
Now I needed to make a call; either I could close the lid and walk away and pretend that it wasn't me (which wouldn't have worked as I was the only person who had ever used the toilet) . Or i could own up to it and deal with it like a man. I decided that honesty was the way to go. I tracked down the General manager and told him that I had a problem in the bathroom. He followed me and asked, "You don't know how to use?" I said, "No, I know how to use but I destroyed the toilet." I showed him and it took him a minute to figure out what had happened. Then he started to laugh which attracted people to the bathroom. They of course asked what happened and Mr. Bang told them. Pretty soon everyone was there and we were all having a laugh. Everyone expect me who was nodding and saying, "Yes, yes I totally broke the toilet." It was pretty embarrassing as you may be able to imagine. I eventually went back to my office and tried to stop sweating for the next 15 minutes.
Then I had to rush off for a meeting with everyone in the entire office building which lasted 3 hours and I was required to make a speech regarding my goals and hopes for the company...........................